I’ve had this idea brewing for a while, where I wanted to express common arguments, conflicts or obstacles interabled couples may experience. Interabled is a new term I have learned after reading the novel “In Sickness and in Health: Love, Disability, and a Quest to Understand the Perils and Pleasures of Interabled Romance” written by Ben Mattlin. Which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a good read. It explores different couples with different disabilities all of which are interabled.
Adjective. interabled (not comparable) Describing a relationship between a disabled person and one who is not disabled.
As a 3 year girlfriend, 6 month fiance and soon to be WIFE! (YES IF YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING ME ON MY SOCIALS YOU WOULDN’T KNOW SO SURPRISE!!) It is in my best interest to educate myself on working towards a long lasting and happy partnership. During my almost 4 years with my handsome (as seen above) Mike, I’ve grown more than I thought I ever could by taking on someone else’s thoughts, dreams and emotions. Like any other couple we’ve climbed mountains and often times fallen on our way up but, being an interabled couple we experience other obstacles that if I am being completely honest I still don’t know how to overcome.
I will be starting a blog series called “Overcoming Interabled Obstacles” and each post will outline an obstacle that an interabled couple experiences, sharing the perspective of both the disabled and the abled. Often times in a relationship we shy from communication and hearing the others perspective and how they are feeling. By no means should this blog post mean you should assume your partner has the same perspective that Mike and I will be sharing but I hope it allows couples to start a conversation.
I will not be sharing solutions as I truly believe their isn’t a standard solution to any of the obstacles I address. As stated above just because Mike and I feel the way we do about the specific situation does in NO way mean that is how you or your partner should feel. Everyone is so different whether that be in personality or in their diagnosis. The goal is to allow you to open up with your partner if the scenario applies to your relationship.
My objective in starting this series is to,
1. Help other interabled/abled couples to see that they are not alone and that all partnerships go through hardships.
Two different people aren’t going to get along all the time and just because you hate that your partner snores in their sleep doesn’t mean you don’t love them. (It mostly means that the honey moon stage is O V E R!)
2. Show perspective and different angles to the obstacle that others may not have thought of.
Sometimes we get so caught up in how we are feeling and depending on our mental state we see ourselves in a very different light than the rest of the world. Sometimes a strangers perspective really can change your entire outlook.
3. Encourage and Inspire couples to fight for each other as opposed to with each other.
Love is so rare. Couples are splitting up, divorcing and throwing in the towel after months-years of memories. Sometimes memories are just that and divorces are neccessary for the happiness and mental health of each other. I will always be in favour of choice and allowing every single human being to have options and choice for THEIR OWN LIVES however, trying and effort is so important and its always been easier to quit than it has been to strive.
Love, whether its being given or received is a beautiful feeling and one of the main reasons for living. Love is expressed in many ways beyond boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife which is why eventually I would like to expand this series into exploring obstacles between parents & children, siblings and friends etc.
My overall goal in this series would be to help a husband help his wife a little harder, a girlfriend listen to her boyfriend a little more and for everyone to share a lot more love.