I’m always extremely motivated to go to the gym but, once I get there i’m ready to go home. Going to the gym was a battle of brain vs. body, about a year ago my family got a gym membership. Like all things new we went religiously. We spent an hour there which to many seems like nothing but to me… it was long enough.
Fortunately i’m still quite mobile and can use some (very select few) machines and of course the tread mill all within a moderation. The treadmills at my gym are a big step to get on, so I can’t get onto it on my own. Mike, my dad or my brother are a huge help at getting me on and off. Walking on a treadmill is much easier than walking on uneven ground so at first it made me feel good. I still felt like I was in control of my own body. Until suddenly i’m walking beside other people who are jogging at a speed of 5.0 +. Now instead of being proud I was comparing.
The gym is such a great getaway for some. My dad for instance loves it. He goes every single day for 2 hours. He enjoys listening to music and moving around at his own pace. Its a distraction and for some a way out of your head and all your thoughts, but for others there is no way out of your head or disability.
Being a heavier build it’s quick to assume I was at the gym to lose weight, which is part of the reason I was going but also to continue my mobility and get active. I work at an office so i’m sitting majority of the day and don’t get much movement. But being a young adult you get into your head and compare yourself to the other people within the gym who look stunning and are killing their workouts. I also start to think of judgement and what people are thinking as they watch me limp to the very slow speed on the treadmill. But is anyone actually paying attention? I know I pay attention to others but only to compare or to day dream of what my life would have been like if I could be doing the work outs they were doing.
Mike really does bring out the best of me and if the gym isn’t overly busy he’ll take me over to the weights and lift my arms while i’m holding them. Sometimes he’ll hand me the weights I can handle and take some for himself and he’ll do the workout with me. I guess I can call him my swole mate 😉
Swole: extremely muscular. (especially of a man)
I recommend finding a work out buddy that makes you comfortable and is always looking for ways to help you feel like YOU. If you don’t have someone that you feel you can do that with, don’t be afraid to let your walls down and allow those people to come to you. Being vulnerable doesn’t have to be a bad thing neither does admitting to being weak. We are allowed to break down and we are allowed to share how we feel. We shouldn’t have to put up these walls and pretend that we are okay and we are strong emotionally to compensate for our physical weakness.
Be vulnerable, open yourself up to those around you and, BE COMFORTABLE!